But then I thought - what do I know about poetry? Who am I to judge? I had more than 50 haiku on my phone, begging to be read, but I felt like an impostor. I couldn't wait to read all the haiku waiting for me. My phone buzzed at work, at my younger sister's dance recital, and as I watched the new season of Transparent. Some were confused at first, but then saw there was a woman willing to go out with anyone in exchange for a poem, and quickly understood the challenge at hand. I didn't want to judge based on looks or bios, only pure poetry, so I swiped right on everyone in my area for a week. I decided that Tinder would be the best way to meet as many people as possible, so the next day, I wrote a bio that told hopeful suitors to send me a haiku if they were interested: "Tinder is the worst / Swipe right only if you will / write me a haiku." Why don't men write good poetry for women anymore? I wanted someone to write me some poetry. I wanted someone to be chivalrous with words! Their writing meant something, even if it was probably just used to get into someone's pants.
Shakespeare, Hughes, Yeats, Marlowe, Browning, Wordsworth. The poem begins: "Bridegroom, dear to my heart goodly is your beauty, honeysweet lion, dear to my heart." I think it's safe to say the king got laid that night. This first love poem signified the sacred duty of the king to marry a priestess every year. Or rather, it was inscribed in an 8th century B.C. Four thousand years ago, the first love poem was written.
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